Have been going through a very terrible period in my life. Never before in my life have I felt so sorry for myself. Faith is a very powerful phenomenon. When you place your true faith in someone, you expect so much out of it. And deceit is hardest to take when faith is so strong. I have always been a person who has given his faith very easily to people I have loved but hitherto I had never been so atrociously betrayed of my faith by any single person. And that is the reason I shall forever, for the rest of my life, survive devoid of faith, in a perpetual state of insecurity. And that how difficult it is to live without faith, only time shall be able to tell.
It is said that man turns to God in the weakest phases of his life. When all faith is lost, there is only one infallible faith, which can hold a man together. In the dark recesses of my shaken mind I have spent the past weekend getting closer to God. I have never been too much of a believer in God neither have I been an atheist. I have felt the connect with God at various junctions of my life but have never before felt the need for such a connect. But the ongoings of my life in the past few days have only served to reinstill that thin faith I have perennially possessed. I'm hurt, I'm sad, I'm broken, but now I'm so much at peace.
It is after three whole passive years that I, on this weekend paid a visit to the holy shrine of Mata Vaishno Devi. I, who was an annual pilgrim to the shrine had somehow got so caught in life that I had not just been able to manage going there or probably as they say, "मेनू बुलावा नि आया सी" But having received the invitation now, I just packed my bags and left. I have seen people trekking the mountains bare feet to the shrine, people just driven by faith, just chanting God's name and fighting their inabilities in reaching to God. They walk, get tired, sit down, start again with renewed faith. But no matter how disabled anybody, no matter how much in pain, no matter how sore their feet be, no matter how stiff their joints, faith carries them on. It is such a massive spiritual connect I feel with that holy shrine. And the cherry on the cake? The old narrow cave to the shrine was open. I was thrilled! And I must admit so much faith around me made me entirely forget everything that had me disturbed all these days. I have come back this very morning, a new person altogether, having left all my past baggage at the feet of Mata Vaishno Devi. I'm so peaceful now and am ready to take more. I've regained my place at my God's feet.